Commitment

I've had a fair amount in trouble in life trying to distinguish a whim from a calling. I'm finding that to hear a calling you have to make yourself quiet. Free from the noise of your head (daily work, resentment, fear, anger, ...) and the noise of your environment (machines, TV, email, ...)

When you ignore a whim, it goes away leaving only what trace you attached to it. When you ignore a calling, though, you end up getting sick, spiritually, mentally and physically. This is the belly of the whale, where I've been many times.

A few weeks ago I had something of a whale-belly experience as a result of my anxiety and short-sightedness about this house. Sometimes this project is so big that I allow my worry machine to get control. I find myself reading how-to material whenever I have free time, often when I should be sleeping. My wake-up call this time came in the form of a strained back muscle, which for a few days made even yawning sharply painful.

After some consultation with Erica, a jump in Lake Superior, some prayers and the abundance of friends, family and music I enjoy here I am still feeling a ton of pressure. I have just learned again that I can ride it and not be consumed by it.

The landing at the back door is done as of yesterday, and the arch door is very nearly hung. The door is taking so much time. I sure hope it works!



Here's one of two flying squirrels we released in an old abandoned cabin at the end of November. This one is eating snow. A moment after this picture was taken he 'flew' over to a nearby tree and then climbed way up the tree and flew into the woods. His spouse went into the house.
They had been nesting under our bed inside the floor. It's much quieter at night now.